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Monday, May 15th, 2006

(1 trumpet blast | come blow your horn)

Subject:Ummm... okay
Time:10:13 pm.
Since unnamed... "fans" (i.e. - stalkers) have been asking for updates... I guess I'll make one.

Yay! School is out... I FUCKING PASSED ALL MY CLASSES FUCK YEAH!!! Not that they were brutally hard... I just hate getting up. I also hate working two jobs, which directly interferes with homework.

Things are finally getting interesting on the friends/party side of things. It took all year, but in the last 3 weeks I've gone to two parties and one half-party slash bar-outing. All of which were really fucking fun. One party started in the suites at IWCC and ended in Lake Manawa. Funnn...

So yeah... band kicked ass pretty much all year. It's fun being in a band that likes to sound good, and appreciates talent rather than ridiculing it. We rocked Jazz Police something fierce. Next year is only going to be better. Stay tuned to have your crotches rocked off.

Dave Chappelle owns my soul.

Wednesday, April 19th, 2006

(2 trumpet blasts | come blow your horn)

Subject:Tuesday totally kicked ass.
Time:10:21 pm.
Tuesday was Iowa Jazz Championships, better known as IJC, and it rocked my face off.

I hadn't been there since my freshman year, when we still had Gibson. I even SAW Gibson there Tuesday, it was really cool. He said he'd been hearing good things about the IWCC jazz band and I got to tell him I was a music major. It was really cool to see him again.

There were some mindblowing bands there. Sioux City North should just have their members drop out of school and go on tour professionally.... seriously... the Gordon Goodwin band doesn't have NOTHIN' on them. I'm being facetious of course BUT I HEARD THEM AND YOU DIDN'T!!!!

Yeah... Glenwood, Southern Cal, Treynor, Kingsley-Pierson, Sidney.... all kickass stuff.

Treynor got jacked though... big time. North Mahaska and Aurelia took 4th and 5th while Treynor got 6th. This isn't because Treynor didn't stomp all over them, because Treynor did stomp all over them. It's because some of the members or Treynor's band were "headbanging" during the bass players intro solo on one of their songs. They played superior music but got a lower place because ONE judge thought they were being "unsportsmanlike." Total B-S.

Damn it felt good to be back at IJC.

Saturday, April 8th, 2006

(5 trumpet blasts | come blow your horn)

Subject:I feel like writing, even though I have nothing to write about.
Time:11:25 pm.
I started drinking at about 7:00 P.M. tonight, I'm finally a little buzzed. Not exactly looking to get shit faced. So excuse any lack of grammar or spelling.

Had a TINY bonfire at the old house tonight, just a 1/2 mile up the road. Pretty fun. James, Cassie, the other Cassie, Steph, Jason, and I were there. Stephanie left after a little while, wasn't her scene I guess. After I made a little joke, (not my best material) the OTHER Cassie told me, "I'd forgotten how funny you were." It was probably in the top 5 compliments I'd gotten in my life. I don't know why that was worth mentioning, but, well it just was. It made my day.

Mowed the lawn today, took off my shirt in an effort to get somewhat of a tan. What can I say. Chicks like tans.

I don't know whether to say I've come to terms with what's been on my mind (see previous post) or not, I've just felt slightly better this week. I just wish I could meet someone. I swear sometimes I feel like there's no one for me, and then I feel like a stuck up asshole, as though I deserve someone extra special. Maybe I'm just drunk, and can't put what I'm feeling into words. Maybe I had it and lost it. Maybe it was never there. I've started the last three sentences with "maybe." My life is too full of "maybes." Maybe I don't know what I'm looking for. Maybe I've met her and haven't known it, or maybe I'm just impatient. It may be that I had it and fucked it all up with immaturity and disrespect. Maybe I should end this paragraph.

I hate being lonely.

Sometimes I feel that all I have is my music.

Sometimes I hate myself for being so focused on music and being so untalented at creating it.

A lot of times I feel like crying or just giving up. But then I realize I'm a Voge, and should expect more out of myself, and am just thankful for my family always being there for me.

And after all this whiny bullshit, and feelings of self pity, I find there is always a new day at which to try harder and do better. So yeah, I think I'll just go to bed sometime soon, and then go to work tomorrow morning...

Sunday, April 2nd, 2006

(7 trumpet blasts | come blow your horn)

Subject:It wasn't fun...
Time:1:45 am.
Mood:retrospective & introspective.
Just to let you know, while you're ducking behind my back, I wasn't there to play hide and seek with you.

I can't say I really expected more than the cold shoulder... but you in his office leads me to guess you didn't watch our show... oh well.

Also... thank you Less Than Jake for somehow putting exactly how I'm feeling into words...

It's gonna kill me: The rest of my life
Let me apologize while I'm still alive
I know it's time to face all of my past mistakes
I've got to live with them the rest of my life.

This is the mess I've made
These are the words I can't erase
This is my life support, shutting down, for the final time
And it twists like a braid
And kills me for the rest of my life

If you won't forgive me
The rest of my life
Let me apologize while I'm still alive
I know it's time to face all of my past mistakes
It's gonna kill me for the rest of my life...

Sunday, January 29th, 2006

(come blow your horn)

Time:11:22 pm.
Playing piano is fun as hell when you have good music to play. It also helps to be amazingly talented... yeah... I'd say I have a lot of fun with it.

It's also fun being in a jazz band that doesn't have to work on the same 3 songs all season. We got "Miss Ella" and "The Jazz Police" about 3 weeks ago and we're already learning 4 new songs. It's mind blowing.

Mmm.. funny story: In English Comp 1, we had a test over "confusing words." It was stuff like : He is so _____. A.) Vane B.) Vein C.) Vain. OMFG THIS IS CONFUSING SHIT. The two highest scores were 100 and 92. The teacher said that after the 92 there was a major drop in the scores. I got the 100, and the guy that got the 92 is named Juan, and he's from fucking CUBA!! A foreigner did better than 15 kids that GREW UP SPEAKING ENGLISH. Yeah, I thought that was pretty amusing. TEE HEE!!

Ugh... life is boring. School, work, sleep... repeat. Somebody shoot me.

Thursday, January 5th, 2006

(1 trumpet blast | come blow your horn)

Subject:Is it late, or early?
Time:5:47 am.
It's almost 6 in the morning and I haven't been to bed. I'm antsy, I feel anxious but I don't know what I'm anxious for. I just really want school to start so I can see some familiar and friendly faces.

Been getting back into shape with trumpet the last 2 days. I've practice probably half of break, but had been off the axe for almost a week I think. I have pep band Saturday which will KICK FUCKING ASS. I'm also going to hang out with my sister on Saturday. We plan on eating sushi and going to the world market.

As bored as I am, I'm still on this whole kick of "loving life." I've been rehashing memories, old LJ entries, and thinking about old friendships/relationships. Life is just better nowadays.

Old LJ entries are always good for a laugh. Especially the ones where I had 30 or so comments from angry schoolmates. My sister's comment gets the gold medal though. I think it went something like: "If you aren't of value to Tom, you're here for his amusement." I've come to a point in my life right now though, where I just have to move on from those days. I don't think I'm missing much though.

My memories are kinda mixed. There are a myriad of good and bad memories throughout highschool.

Freshman year was uneventful up until Justin took my jazz virginity by letting me listen to his Maynard Ferguson c.d. Life hasn't been the same since.

Sophomore year was okay. I had my first kiss with Lindsey, OF COURSE I HAVE TO MENTION THAT! I also delved deeper into jazz. I also cried in class this year after finding out I wouldn't be able to play with the band at Iowa Jazz Championships this year, notable only because I hadn't before that, and haven't since.

Junior year saw me making enemies and forming rivalries with my trumpet playing. Apparently refusing to embrace mediocrity and refusing to deny my abilities as a musician is unacceptable. That's okay though, because Bryan Olsen punched Missy Bailey in the face. Music theory class was really fun too. I went to Washington D.C. this year also. That was a REALLY fun trip. This is the year I met Carie, who is unfathomably cool.

Senior year rocked my fucking FACE off. Between my first love, the Phoenix trip, ALL THE DRAMA WITH BAND, and my senior trip, I had a lot of fun. Lots of unforgettable stuff, just too much to mention here.

That's most of the stuff that's worth mentioning. Doesn't take long to sum up. Does that mean something? ....Goddamn I hate that school.

Fox said it best: "I think the whole goal of high school is to make exceptional children dumb themselves down so that the world, embracing of mediocrity as it generally is, doesn't have to have someone it fears loose in its workforce."

That just kinda says it all. I hope you don't mind me quoting you, Fox.

Is it Monday yet?

Wednesday, January 4th, 2006

(1 trumpet blast | come blow your horn)

Subject:2005 in review, inspired by Fox... and more.
Time:1:54 am.
Mood: pleased.
First quarter
Came back from Arizona, and back to reality. Happy as hell being with Autumn. Swallowed my pride to return to the jazz band. Withstood the daily grind of school. Basically clung to the dream of getting the hell out and going to college.

Second quarter
Had a kickass senior trip, and then graduated. Still happily with Autumn. Got a good job with my sister at MAAS, and started bankrolling for college. Basically did the daily grind and went to see Autumn damn near every night.

Third quarter
Something went terribly, terribly wrong. Lost touch with Autumn and reality basically. College started and Autumn and I broke up by the end of the third quarter. Did much better than I thought with the start of college. Made it every day.

Fourth quarter
College is kicking more ass than ever. Have proven all my doubters wrong: fuck you guys. Had a couple of letdowns at this part of the year. Learned a lot from someone special too. Still maintained 2 jobs and 12 credit hours. Had a shitload of fun too.

Life is kind of a fucking trip right now. For some reason it seems almost surreal. Things are just going too well... and I'm supposed to be some kind of fuck up. But high school is kind of aimed at making you feel that way.

I kinda wish you still lived here Steph. I could ask you for advice 24/7 at this point. You were there for me a lot this past year, and strangely it means more to me now that I'm looking back on it than when you were giving the advice.

Next semester of college promises to kick a lot of ass also. To kick things off I have to clear the air with Danielle, which may or may not go well.

After that it's back to music with the jazz band and pep band, piano and trumpet lessons, choir, and theory and sight singing. In addition to the music courses I'll be taking Intermediate Algebra and English Comp I.

Life is good.

Saturday, October 22nd, 2005

(3 trumpet blasts | come blow your horn)

Time:12:48 am.
I got an A on my piano midterm this Thursday. 140 out of 150 points. Good for me. Yay Tom.

My bass lesson also went much better than last week. For a while I'd been thinking about dropping it. Now it's going much better. Finding... "motivation" and such.

Friday's trumpet lesson didn't go too badly. Not too badly at all.

Wednesday's pep band was wild. I'd had lab band and jazz band earlier that day, and my chops were on the fritz. My director's husband was there too, and he was taking some of the things up an octave... SO, of course, I have to try to show him up. I'm the lead trumpet player FOR A REASON. This is MY HOUSE. Let's just say I made my presence known... repeatedly... and loudly.

Before pep band was fun also. Josh Gibson and I watched the Cowboy Bebop movie in the band room. Hehe, good way to burn and hour and fifty minutes. Good flick. I'm gonna bring Bullitt to the next pep band, Nov. 1st. Movies shall be tradition. Or I'll bring in one of my many game systems. Friggin' sweet.

Argh. Just argh, frustration.

Sunday, October 16th, 2005

(come blow your horn)

Time:11:23 pm.
Life can be complicated.


Yes, I realize I make bold statements.

I'm just being patient here. I'm happy waiting for things that are worthwhile.

Holy fuckballs, Love for Sale is a great song. The lead part rocks my socks, and I rock the lead part. DOUBLE THE ROCKAGE.

Loving college. Liking the people. Trying to figure out semester number 2. Planning on getting a different job.

Bah, too much information I don't want to release publicly.

Cigarettes are bastards. Hate em. I was doing so good, and then Wednesday came along. 1 cigarette in the last 22 days isn't so bad is it? Hell, I've had maybe 5 in the past 2 months. Ahh fuck. Louie smoked like a chimney and the mofo could play trumpet like nobodies business, I'll live to see 30.

Trying to lose my gut, damn you office job! Haven't been eating as much lately. That should help. I've also cut back on my soda intake a bit. I only really have some when I'm at Hy-Vee on the weekends... cuz it's fuggin free, hahaha.

Bah, I'll just have to use my families excercise bike more. My legs were shot after about 2 and a half minutes Friday.

Oh you know, oh you know, oh you know you know you know, you know you must have been a beautiful baby. You must have been a beautiful child. That's all I know from that song, but Bobby Darin can sing, I do know that.

I need hug.

Sunday, October 9th, 2005

(3 trumpet blasts | come blow your horn)

Subject:So yeah...
Time:12:41 pm.
I've been listening to this song a lot lately...

For awhile to love was all we could do
we were young and we knew
and our eyes were alive
Deep inside we knew our love was true
For awhile we paid no mind to the past
we knew love would last
Ev'ry night somethin' right
would invite us to begin the dance

Somethin' happened along the way
what used to be happy was sad
Somethin' happened along the way
and yesterday was all we had
And oh after the love has gone
how could you lead me on
and not let me stay around
Oh oh oh after the love has gone
what used to be right is wrong
Can love that's lost be found

For awhile to love each other with all
we would ever need
Love was strong for so long
never knew that what was
wrong oh baby wasn't right
We tried to find what we had
till sadness was all we shared
We were scared this affair would lead our love into
Somethin' happened along the way
yesterday was all we had
Somethin' happened along the way
what used to be happy is sad

Somethin' happened along the way
oh yesterday was all we had
And oh after the love has gone
how could you lead me on
and not let me stay around
Oh oh oh after the love has gone
what used to be right is wrong
Can love that's lost be found

It's a good song... speaks a lot toward my last month with Autumn.

Friday, August 26th, 2005

(1 trumpet blast | come blow your horn)

Time:1:11 am.

I'm not taking nearly enough classes. Thank you guidance counselor!!!

I'm in Music Theory I, Jazz Band, Pep Band, Sight Singing and Ear Training, and am also taking Piano, Trumpet, and Bass lessons.

I'll probably taking lots of English, Math, History stuff in the summer of '06 to make up for lost time this semester. But I like the free time this gives me, so I can still get 30+ hours a week at my 2 jobs. If I work any less I probably won't be able to keep gas in my car.

Jazz and Pep band classes are so much fun. We actually get things done, incredible stuff. We're also playing 1 or 2 songs I had for pep band in high school. Freeze Frame... Centerfold, maybe a few more. I'm guessing pep band is the same in a lot of schools.

In other news!!! I'm approaching the one year mark with my girlfriend Autumn. It has been an incredible year. I love her so much. I got her a ring in July for her birthday. It has a heart shaped ruby with a diamond on either side. (Ruby is her birthstone for those of you that didn't catch the whole July birthday thing.) I got it at Brodkeys, not some cheapo place....... like the necklace I got her for Christmas. (Wal-Mart)

Mmmmm.... think I'm going to go to bed now. I have to get up before noon for college, a difficult feat even with enough sleep.

Good wishes and health to all.

Friday, August 12th, 2005

(come blow your horn)

Subject:Feels like I'm tripping... as they say.
Time:1:43 am.
Just took some generic brand Vicodin. And now I cannot feel my face, which is a plus.

I had all 4 of my wisdom teeth exctracted today. Not too bad actually. The doctors at Creighton were really nice. I had the I.V. sedation. They told me 2 milligrams is the average to get a person to go under, and that it took 6 milligrams. I don't know what was in the I.V. but it hurt like hell when they put the needle in.

I remember having the teeth yanked, "Open your mouth a little more please..." and such. The bottom right hurt like a MOTHERFUCKER. It also still does. They had to put a suture in that one apparently.

I think the Vicodin is making me sleepy, maybe it's the loss of blood catching up. I felt energized about half an hour ago, if a bit sore in the cheeks. And it is getting really hard to type correctly.

Anyways. The surgery took 3 hours apparently. Went in around 9 and got out at about noon. Got home at about 2ish I believe. Slept till about 5 when I tried to get down some food. I had a can of warm beef broth, which I promptly regurgitated. Tasted the same coming up as it did going down. Because it hadn't been in my stomach but 2 minutes.

After that I slept till about 9, when I tried to get down some applesauce, which I promptly regurgitated. Tasted the same coming up as it did going down. Because it hadn't been in my stomach but 2 minutes.

Okay, I can go no further I have to retire to my bed. Love you all. Bye.

Thursday, July 7th, 2005

(2 trumpet blasts | come blow your horn)

Time:3:32 am.
What the hell am I doing?

Thursday, June 30th, 2005

(3 trumpet blasts | come blow your horn)

Time:2:12 pm.
I would do anything to take back what happened today.

Tuesday, June 21st, 2005

(5 trumpet blasts | come blow your horn)

Subject:La dee da...
Time:3:28 pm.
Here I am at work. Making $8.50 an hour while updating my journal. This is the life. And things are about to get hectic, get crazy, get hectic, get wild. Or something like that.

I'm going to start doing 8 a.m. to 9:30 p.m. Monday's through Thursdays. I'll take Friday's off so I can practice trumpet and whatnot. I'll be bringing in over 800 dollars twice a month plus about 150 every 2 weeks at Hy-Vee. Good times... DYNOMITE!!!

Other than that... it sucks not to be able to see Autumn for 6 hours at a time like I was able to during school. I'm doing what I can though... and that's all I can do. Is what I can... I'll do it.

I'm better than you... at everything. I'm God's gift to trumpet playing, and the greatest thing to ever happen to the Tri-Center band program. I am, was, and always will be, the greatest trumpet player on the face of the earth.

Monday, June 13th, 2005

(2 trumpet blasts | come blow your horn)

Subject:News as of late... well, early since it's almost 1 a.m.
Time:12:52 am.
I've been working 2 jobs now. I get 32 hours a week at MAAS and 12 or so at Hy-Vee, which puts me over 40 hours a week. Damn I'm a workaholic. All comes to at least 700 dollars every 2 weeks or so... Damn I'm good.

I officially suck at trumpet now, having no time to practice is never fun... I'm still a decent technician, but my range has dropped about 3 notes. I feel like Justin on a good day. Somebody kill me.

Well... screw this, I'm gonna play some Kingdom of Loathing.

Thursday, June 2nd, 2005

(2 trumpet blasts | come blow your horn)

Subject:Dude, seriously...
Time:11:17 pm.

Thursday, May 26th, 2005

(8 trumpet blasts | come blow your horn)

Subject:The pressure is on.
Time:7:39 pm.
So I sit here thinking to myself... No, really, I do. What can I write that will follow up to these last 2 posts with abysmal comments and shitty grammar? What can be a fitting tribute to the recent shitfest of girls that know everything? I think I may have found it.

I tell ya, the world falls apart without me. Beings as seniors get out of school before everyone else, some shithead juniors think they get to run the show. (Minus Gus) No, it doesn't work that way retards. Just because I leave doesn't mean you get to act like you have down syndrome. Let me fill you in......

YAY IT'S THE LAST DAY LET'S ACT LIKE FUCKING JACKASSES! - This is what Matt, Glen, and Gus said on the last day of school, right before they set up their instruments in the direct middle of the parking lot. (I suppose I'll leave Gus out of this considering he has some talent on his instrument and has been brainwashed by the other two.) Gee, neat, maybe if you had your own songs to play. If I wanted to hear those crappy songs, I'd listen to the goddamn radio, which I don't. I might give you some respect if you had your own material, but I give none for butchering songs written by other people.

Tower of Power? Blood Sweat & Tears? Johnny F-ing Cash? NO, LET'S PLAY CRAP!

I don't suppose this should be a surprise considering these two are the same fucking kids that never shut up in band when we're trying to get things done. Yes, saying the words "Jew, and jews" 10 million times makes you cool. As does copying www.realultimatepower.net , that makes you super fucking cool, jackass. HAHAHAHA GOATS!! HAHAH GOAT GOAT GOAT GOAT! SO FUCKING FUNNY!!!

That school is a fucking cesspool of stupidity. And I thank God every day it didn't get to me.

Fuck you in advance.

Wednesday, May 4th, 2005

(28 trumpet blasts | come blow your horn)

Subject:Band must die. Episode 1 - The Bloodletting
Time:9:26 pm.
For those of you who think you know me so well. You don't.

I don't like being put in a situation where I don't feel I can have anyone to talk to, or turn to, or that even feels the same way I do about music. Not good when you want to be a music major.

I don't like being surrounded by people who aren't near as willing to work as hard as I do. *hint hint* I still have 9/10 of The Jazz Police memorized by heart. Over half of you would struggle to butcher it with the music in front of you.

Nothing I did, or played, was appreciated or respected. Nothing I ever have done or played has been appreciated or respected except by one or two people; one of whom was a guy I considered my best friend, but now I can't trust him to tell me how he feels to my face.

Except honor marching band, when I was overcome with the joy of being in a band that was willing to work at sounding good. If I could have that feeling everyday (I can't) I would be a much more pleasant person to be around.

Try caring as much as I do for once, and you'll see what position I was in. For the record though, wanting to make IJC does not justify saying that you care... even half as much as I do. Caring as much as I do entails playing till it hurts. Waking up with achy lips. Pushing the air through the horn until you're about to pass out. (Yes, I am the hardest working one there. Think about it: the muscles sticking out in my neck, my face turning purple. I'm working harder than you.) And after all this, to enhance the sound of the group with a solid lead trumpet in the mix, I get to come to practice and sit through the teacher constantly having to remind kids to take their instruments home, practice, and for God's sake BE QUIET WHILE HE'S TALKING AND STOP PLAYING WHEN HE TELLS YOU TO.

No one knows what jazz band and jazz in general has meant to me. Or what it meant to try to give it up. Gee, now I get to come crawling back to it... thanks for making this easy guys.

(I wrote that about 2 and a 1/2 months ago. Finally felt like publishing it just now.)

So... on to recent news.

Yay! Monday night! Awards night! Hmm... la dee da, handing out ribbons and such. Now, on to the meat and potatoes, the choral and Sousa awards. Hmm, Seth Parsons eh? He's a good kid and all, never mouthed off in class, was late a lot for marchind band. Never really did much, was in a group or two for ensemble contest, did the whole jazz band thing his last year. Was just kinda.... "there."

Yet... the teacher says it's about honesty, honor, punctuality, work ethic, hard work? What? That sounds like some stupid Work Achievement, Presidential Honor, crap award. This is freaking band! Music! Not some Citizenship award! FUCK THAT!

What? What's that you say? There's another music award? The "Semper Fidelis Award." Cool! Justin Mark eh? He was in jazz band all the years, did numerous ensemble stuff for contest. He was last chair trumpet in the WIC Honor band. Got a II for his trumpet solo. Neato. I'm sure the teacher gave it to the person who deserved it the most.

My awards and achievements.
Trumpet 1 - Honor Marching Band
Soloist - Honor Marching Band
Top Trumpeter - Honor Marching Band

Trumpet 1 - WIC Honor Band

3rd Trumpet - SWIBA Honor Band

Division I - Solo Contest

Trumpeter - TC Sensations

Jazz Band - All 4 years baby, whether you like it or not.

Soloist Award - A few jazz band contests

Hmm... did I miss something? Or is there a bit of foul play afoot here?

Wednesday, April 6th, 2005

(11 trumpet blasts | come blow your horn)

Subject:I should really be in bed.
Time:2:22 am.
If you waste your time reading this... hey, good for you. Screw it, y'know?

In my tiny isolated world of Tri-Center Community High School I have found a few things to be absolutely mind boggling:

This is the most depressing of all: the fact that a student that transferred to my school to escape the torture he endured at his old school would be ridiculed for wanting to move on with his life. Just because he doesn't want to have to look his tormentors in the eye as they walk past him in the hall does not make him a pussy. Hey, let's hold you guys against the floor of the locker room, tea-bag you, and see how you like it. As far as I know, no one has proven that he was one of the kids that got tea-bagged anyway. Yet there are still plans of filling his locker full of Lipton and Nestea products.

Why must stupid girls endlessly laugh? Honestly, why? Sounding like a turkey after hearing a funny joke does not make you more appealing to talk to, more attractive, or any more of a social butterfly. Seriously, just knock it off before I'm forced to stuff you and baste you. It's disgusting.

The fact that the students believed to be the most intelligent in my grade can't see the intense humor in Eddie Izzard's stand-up routine. "HE'S CREEPY!" ....why? because he dresses like you? So are you saying you're creepy? I just think you're skanky.

One bright moment here. Today is my 7 month anniversary with the love of my life. I love you Autumn.


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